New fathers or fathers-to-be, here's a hot tip for you - your wife is most likely still going to feel like a beached whale weeks after the birth and the mood swings she will have from the crazy hormones raging in her body are going to make Kathy Bates in Misery look like Polyana... don't get me wrong, bringing home a new baby is a special and beautiful time... as long as you avoid a few choice phrases:
"I called my mom and she said…"
"I’m so tired."
"Do you want to fool around?"
"Do you mind if I have the guys over for poker night?"
"Are you still wearing pregnancy clothes?"
"Do you think the baby looks like Winston Churchill?"
"I thought breast feeding was supposed to take the weight right off."