The Danger of a Big But

Look, I'm not a fan of buts. They are ugly, leave a terrible impression and take up a lot of space. That one little word can simply ruin a good sentence. (What were you thinking about? Focus, people!) 'But' makes the listener forget everything you said prior to 'but' escaping your lips and focuses their attention on what comes after it. Imagine the actual result of the following statement:

"Honey, I love you but you're drive me crazy!"

Using 'but' to join your phrases makes the listener focus on the negative immediately with no remembrance of your initial set up. Regardless of the situation, using 'but' in a sentence destroys whatever intro you've provided. Instead of 'but', use the term 'and.'

"Honey, I love you and you're driving me crazy!"

Employing 'and' in the sentence allows the listener to keep both messsages alive in their perception. Your primary phrase will be listened to and remembered. Your secondary phrase (and perhaps the main reason for the entire sentence) will also be accepted but and tempered by your primary phrase.

Why is this important? While body language still wins the battle in most communicative situations, the use of our words still have an enormous effect on the listener. Choosing your words wisely should be high on your priority list, especially in a relationship you wish to enjoy.

Replace 'but' with 'and' - you'll both be happy with the results. And, if you'd like to try this at home, make sure to use phrases that won't get you slapped!