It is funny where you pick up ideas that make sense. Today's quote is from Harvey Penick, a master golf teacher who taught greats like Mickey Wright, Tom Kite, and Ben Crenshaw. (The books that he wrote along with Bud Shrake are a must have for any golfer.)
While Mr. Penick is speaking about performance on the golf course, this quote is more than applicable to relationships:
A simple thing to remember, but a hard thing to grasp and do, is this: if you want to change yourself, you must change how you think.
I would simply change it a bit for relationships: If you want to change how your relationship feels, you must change how you think about your partner. Do you focus on the things that bug you? About the parts that let you down? Or, do you focus on those pieces of joy that person brings to your life?
If you want to change yourself, or your relationship, change the way you think first.