I'm not talking about the person you choose (and, hopefully, who returns the feelings.) I'm not talking about the wedding plans, how many kids you two will have, where to live, how to spend your money, how often you have sex.
All of these are important questions that must be debated and resolved throughout your marriage. But the most important question? You must ask yourself the following:
Are you going to be a good spouse for your partner or not?
It's a simple question that is often overlooked. However, it has hugely important implications and must be answered honestly.
We have precious few things that our minds can focus on at any one time. Therefore, this decision has to become like your values - something so ingrained that it is constantly running below the surface guiding your behavior.
As egotistical animals, we all can have a hard time thinking about how our decisions effect others. However, we are endowned with both self-awareness and the ability to change our lives by changing our minds. (Thank you Dr. James.)
All of the changes we make in our lives come from the questions we ask ourselves. The answers are shown not only to ourselves, but to everyone through our actions. So, now that you've read the question, how are you going to answer it?
(*A nod goes to Dennis Prager and his lecture on raising good children for making me think about this post.)