Being afraid in a relationship is bad, right? In many cases, I would agree. However, I think this statement sets a trap that leads to boredom. Let me explain....
Early in a relationship, fear can be exciting, something that actually helps you put your best foot forward. That is, if you really like someone, you'll fear they won't like you unless you give it all you have. You don't want Mr. Perfect or Ms. Perfect to think "Well, they really aren't all that and a bag of chips...."
No - you step up. You attend. You plan. You ask questions, open doors, cook fantastic meals. Sacrificing once beloved routines are easy because you know what you want. Your body chemistry is raging right along with you, helping you perform feats of relationship magic heretofore unthinkable to you and your college friends.
But then, 18 to 24 months into the relationship, things start to get, well... normal. All of the sudden, you wake up and that fear of losing the other person, not being the one they can't wait to be with at the end of the day, is gone. But, they are still there. And they have zits! And smell funny! And they don't pick up the freaking laundry! (One main reason for this is, in fact, body chemistry. Read He Comes Next by Ian Kerner for a great explanation.)
I think we need a bit of that healthy fear back in our relational lives. We need to date each other. Again. I see Halloween, the Night of Fright, is a good time to get it back, to recommit to that healthy fear.
There is plenty of candy waiting for the couple who decides to treat one another like they did all those months ago. And, the good thing is, you don't even have to dress up. Happy Halloween everyone.