I'm a big fan of Seth Godin. He's got a lot of simple, well thought out things to say, most of which involve your relationship with a customer. Sometimes, though, these rules spark my thoughts on relationships.
Today's note is about goals which got me to thinking about my high school gym teacher. Coach Mattox, who I count as one my roll models, used to say "Your mind don't hear don't."
"Don't miss this shot" leads to missing the shot.
"Don't kick it out of bounds" leads to a fly away.
"Don't hit it in the water" leads to....
You get the picture. Rather than focusing on the action you want to happen, using "don't" before anything causes that to happen.
Early in relationships, being nervous about screwing up may be cute. That honeymoon doesn't last very long.
Too many people in relationships think about "not screwing up." Whether it is getting the right gift, remembering an important date, or saying the right thing, you set yourself up to fail (or certainly perform less fabulously) by starting out with "Don't...."
I'm not saying the world is rosy and that everything will go right by leaving "don't" out of your vocabulary. I'm just suggesting that focusing on what you want to happen, rather than what you don't, leads to better results. Especially if you don't want to screw up....