If you answer questions from your wife/husband/loved one the way either McCain or Obama answer townhall questions, you've got problems. Answer the question directly. Sure, you've got to provide some context, but darn it - just answer the question!
Just because you don't like your choices, staying quiet doesn't solve anything. If you don't like the choices your loved one is offering (or the two political parties), create a third option. You've got to speak up when you've got the chance. A great relationship allows a lot of options to speak up, disagree, and come up with other options. Our country, with its protection of free speech and political system, allows you to speak up. Its up to you to speak. There is ALWAYS someone who will listen.