GETINHERHEAD BLOG

101 Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him

Last week, Bethany Hiitola put up a fun post on 101 things men can do for the women they love. Well, after a little back and forth, Bethany challenged me to come up with my own list for women to do for men. I've tried to remain in the not-so-obvious realm. (In other words, no where is 'Show up naked, bring beer' mentionned.) And, don't be so sure that every guy likes every one of these suggestions. For the most part, though, I'm sure your guy will appreciate them. So, without further ado:

1. Give him a shoulder massage without being asked.
2. If he normally gets up with the kids, give him a morning off.
3. Give him the morning sports section, a cup of coffee, and take the kids out to breakfast.
4. Frame a picture of the two of you or your kids for his desk.
5. Set up a guys night with his buddies.
6. Give him a gift certificate to Starbucks or his favorite local coffee shop.
7. Get a sitter for the kids and take him out to his favorite restaurant.
8. After the kids go to bed, slip into something comfortable and make some… advances.
9. Tell him what you appreciate about him, either something he did that day or something he does all the time.
10. Compliment him in front of the kids. Not only will it make him feel good, it’ll show your children you love him as well.
11. Upgrade his seat on the next flight
12. Send an E-card for no reason
13. Buy a card and send it in the mail for no reason
14. Write a note on the bathroom mirror. And, no, not about taking out the trash....
15. Clean up his car for no reason
16. Be "in the mood."
17. Do his laundry.
18. Leave a love note hidden under the pillow.
19. Surprise your husband with twenty-six gifts from A to Z that begin with each of the letters of the alphabet.
20. Flirt with him.
21. Send a small evergreen tree with a note stating you're 'pining' for him.
22. Serve breakfast in bed.
23. Carve your initials on a fence.
24. When he gets home from work, greet him at the door wearing lingerie or nothing but a smile.
25. Plan a romantic picnic but forget the bologna and PBJ – pack an exciting meal, such as sushi, quesadillas, finger sandwiches or chilled shrimp with a fancy bottle or wine or gourmet water. Include citronella candles for an extra romantic touch and to keep bugs away while you dine.
26. Get tickets to an event featuring his favorite sports team and accompany him to the game with enthusiasm. Wear a team hat, drink beer and eat hot dogs just like any other friend would do at the game.
27. Bring a fancy lunch to his office and eat it behind closed doors – you never know what can happen in an hour!
28. Send an email to him during his hectic workday and attach a photo of you wearing your favorite sexy swimsuit. Let him know you can't wait for him to get home.
29. Take a long drive to nowhere. Pack some treats and a few of your favorite CDs.
30. Go on a peaceful nature hike together. A quiet walk gives you the opportunity to hold hands and talk together with no distractions from the outside world.
31. Send him a text message on his cell phone just to tell him that you are thinking about him.
32. Tuck a love note inside his laptop so that when he opens it, he will see you remembered him.
33. Download a photo or video of yourself and make it the background on his computer screen or his screensaver.
34. Create some arrows leading to the bathroom where you've got a hot bath waiting for him and his favorite beer or wine to enjoy.
35. Have a hearty meal waiting for him when he comes home from work. Serve all his favorite dishes without any romantic overtures or expectations and he is sure to show his appreciation after he eats and relaxes.
36. Treat him to breakfast out over the weekend and then spend the rest of the day just hanging out together.
37. Get a nifty waterproof tote, fill it with his favorite toiletries and leave it on his pillow for discovery later. Guys often neglect to keep up with purchasing essential supplies and a bag with razors, after shave, toothpaste and lotion is sure to be appreciated.
38. Program a song into his iPod and have it on deck the next time he grabs his iPod to go running so he knows you are thinking of him.
39. Get a large piece of paper and create a collage of photos showing the two of you spending fun time together. Put the collage up over your bed or living room couch where he can see it and appreciate it.
40. Make a scrapbook with photos, letters, ticket stubs and other precious memories of the moments you shared together and put it on the coffee table or dining room table for him to browse through.
41. Draw a funny picture of the two of you together along with a heart with your names in it with a retro junior high school feel. Put the picture on his car seat so he can get a happy laugh on his way to work.
42. Take a shower together so you can wash and condition his hair for him. Not only will his hair look better, both of you are sure to feel better, too.
43. Shop for him.
44. Pick up his shirts at the cleaners.
45. Write "I Love You" in red lipstick across the bathroom mirror.
46. Treat him and his buddies to an afternoon at a sports bar for the big game.
47. Iron his clothes.
48. Leave a note in his wallet saying that you love him.
49. Laminate a picture of you both or of your entire family for his wallet. (You can make it the same size as a credit card.)
50. Get a birthday card for his parents ready for him to sign.
51. Take the kids out of the house before he gets home from work. Leave him a note saying “Enjoy the quiet. We’ll be back by ___.”
52. Pick up his favorite treat and leave it on the counter for him with a note “I thought you might like this.” It could be a beer, a chocolate, beef jerky… whatever he likes and rarely treats himself to.
53. Say “I love you” at random times during the day.
54. Walk up behind him and give him a hug for no reason.
55. Get him a bunch of movies he’d like to watch when he’s sick.
56. Bring him breakfast in bed.
57. When he’s upset, tell him you’d be happy to listen if and when he’s ready to talk about it. Then, give him some space and don't be mad if he doesn't take you up on the offer.
58. Ask him, “What do you do better than anyone else you know?” And, then listen to the response. If you can back it up, tell him so.
59. When he cooks, compliment the food after you’ve had only a few bites.
60. Tell him why you think he’s a great husband, dad, or both.
61. Compliment the way he looks in his suit.
62. Make a ‘goodie bag’ for his next trip – a few chocolates and a little note.
63. Put a bunch of new magazines by his favorite toilet – magazines you think he’d like.
64. Take a silly picture of the kids and email it to him.
65. Ask him what you can do to help him, right then and there.
66. Learn a little bit about his favorite team – a recent trade, the next game, etc. Ask him about it and see what he thinks.
67. Give him a ‘Free Pass’ gift certificate to something he doesn’t like to do but does every time you ask.
68. Ask him “What’s your favorite memory?”
69. Make him a mixed CD for his car.
70. Get him an iTunes gift certificate.
71. Challenge him to a game of PIG or HORSE.
72. Get up early and make him his favorite breakfast before work.
73. Rub his feet on the couch one night while watching tv.
74. Buy him new socks.
75. Buy him some new underwear.
76. Let him pick a movie that you both watch.
77. Call his mom to see how she’s doing without being asked.
78. When he’s lost, let him figure it out without saying a word. If you must speak, say something like, "You'll get it." in a positive voice.
79. When he’s sick, see if he needs anything and then give him quiet and space.
80. Go for a walk after dinner.
81. Hide little notes for him in places only he will find.
82. Plan a date and make it something adventurous like go carts or bumper cars
83. Get tickets to a concert and pick him up from work.
84. Bring lunch for he and his office mates - a big sandwich or something like that to share. It'll make him look good and his co-workers will appreciate it.
85. Get tickets to a minor league sporting event for the two of you
86. Send him a ‘remember when’ email with a memory that makes you both laugh.
87. Order him a new t-shirt from his college or favorite sports team
88. Sign up for getinherhead.com and fill out all your information for him. (Full disclosure - that's my 'other' website.)
89. Don’t nag
90. Ask him who he would like to have over and plan a little dinner party with the guests of his choice
91. Go on Ebay and find some memorabilia he would love and surprise him with it… like an autographed photo of his favorite sports player.
92. On a day other than his birthday, make cupcakes and put a candle in his and tell him to make any wish he would like…
93. Take a day to really appreciate all the little things he does and tell him so.
94. Go to a park and swing together for a few minutes
95. Locate the closest drive-in movie and go one night
96. Send him on a scavenger hunt and have him end up at a bar/restaurant where you are waiting for him
97. Make a picnic and take a drive to a quiet place for lunch
98. Encourage him to invite his friends over for a big game and make nachos and other appetizers for them.
99. Let him out of the next obligatory event that you would like to drag him to and bring a friend instead
100. Go to an arcade and play video games with him.
101. Go to UnderstandMen.com and listen to a few of Alison Armstrong's podcasts. She gets men.

Anything you'd like to add?

As a personal aside - this list took me 4 days to compile. I'm going to stop writing this touchy-feely stuff and watch Sportscenter.

Remember When….

Do you remember when your husband used to call you just to hear your voice?  Or when your stomach would do summersaults when you saw her email address pop up on your screen?  Do you remember when their little idiosyncrasies were cute… It’s not so cute when he burps your name anymore is it…?  Well it turns out that the old adage, love is blind is only partly true, it should read, new love is blind.  After about two years, the blinders start to peel off and his smelly socks all over the bedroom floor and her incessant talking when you walk in the door don’t have the same charm anymore. 

The reality is that when we are in that initial falling in love stage, biology takes over!  Our brains are bathed in chemicals that literally blind us to the others faults.   The male brain is swimming in dopamine which makes him want to please you in every way he can so that he can “win.”  Men are biologically engineered to desire the “chase.”  So, after they “catch” us and we commit to each other, the level of the dopamine in their brains literally plummets.  Yikes – no more flowers, gazing at us from across the room, or putting the toilet seat back down after he pees.  This may sound depressing but it is actually an opportunity!  Now you just have to work a little harder to keep the “chase” alive in your relationship…

Top 5 ways to keep the “chase” alive in your relationship:

1)      Flirt with him/her like you did when you first met.

2)      Go away for a romantic weekend and intentionally act like you did when you were courting.

3)      Do something totally unexpected and make him or her feel adored.

4)      Exercise daily – it makes you feel better about yourself and gives you the uplifting chemicals that are no longer present in the new love stage.

5)      Do something together that is totally out of the ordinary that appeals to men’s nature – go skydiving, go white water rafting, go on a roller coaster… appeal to his need for adventure!

If you are interested in learning more about the biology of men and women as it relates to relationships, we highly recommend the books by relationship expert, Ian Kerner: She Comes First and He Comes Next.

These are NOT Date Movies!!

Kate and I enjoy watching movies. In fact, since we found Netflix, one of our favorite date nights is to choose a good flick, make a great dinner, get the kids to bed, and cozy up on the couch. (Last night's Amazing Grace really got us talking - it's a great movie.)

In picking our upcoming date movie, we often visit Rotten Tomatoes - a great site for reviews and ratings. I had a lot of fun reading through a recent blog post regarding their top 'anti-relationship' flicks.

(Let's hear it for Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Glenn Close - the King and Queens of relationship disaster!)

"War of the Roses" has always been on of 'can't turn it off late night flicks' list. It has a ton of dark humor, great physical comedy, Devito is absolutely hilarious, and there is an actual message in the end.

While I wouldn't suggest to watch a lot of these 'anti-relationship' movies in a row - you don't want to give your loved one the wrong idea - sometimes its fun to see what is on the other side of good relationships.

Enjoy!